One Flew Over the English Class

By the time I started high school, I was already an avid writer. I kept a journal and a notebook full of poetry. Social activities started to gain priority in my life and I found myself reading less during those formative years. However, I could easily swallow a novel assigned by any English teacher in a day or two.

During my senior year, we were assigned One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, one of the pillar literary works read by all high schoolers. I read it in a day and returned to school only to discover that we would be reading almost the entire novel aloud in class. This was, in my view, unacceptable. High school seniors should be beyond reading aloud during class. I stopped attending class until the Cuckoo reading was completed. We watched the movie and were assigned an essay, which I aced. I will never forget the words my teacher said to me when he handed me back the paper, “You’re a very bright girl, Melissa, it’s a shame you don’t show up for class more often.”

At that age, I was inclined to do little more than roll my eyes and return to my desk. If only I had spoken up and informed that so-called educator that I’d read the entire book on the day he handed it out, that the class periods I’d missed were spent at home writing poetry, and that a roomful of sixteen- and seventeen-year-olds reading a novel out loud as if they were still in elementary school was the real shame. My absences affected my final grade, despite the fact that the actual work I turned in always received an A grade.

I’ve always carried that moment with me, and wished I could have found the nerve - the desire even - to tell that man that my grade and attendance were more a reflection of the public school system and his teaching skills than it was a demonstration of my own abilities. After all, he was the football coach and rumor had it he was teaching English as a result of cutbacks, and that it was an obligation that allowed him to continue managing the football team.

Now, many years later, I don’t wonder why signs posted around business offices are printed with blatant grammatical errors. It is no mystery to me why many of the e-mails I receive from friends and business associates are fraught with misused punctuation and poor spelling, or why I’ve encountered published novels containing written sentences that are not even coherent.

When English teachers are not allowed to teach grammar and sentence structure beyond elementary school, when athletic coaches are forced to teach academic subjects only so that they can continue to manage the sports team, and when kids who are about to graduate high school are reading at a level which warrants reading aloud in class, it’s no wonder that the state of writing in today’s world is in shambles.

This not meant as a tirade against the public school system, though I suppose it qualifies. It’s a reminder that not all students who skip class are off taking drugs and flirting with the opposite sex. I doubt my teachers realized that my many absences in school were a red flag not to my delinquent status, but to the fact that I was bored, unchallenged, and frustrated. I could look back on memories like my episode with the football coach turned English teacher and feel cheated, but instead I use it as an experience that has taught me about the world — one that allows me to sympathize with those of my peers who were not pushed to learn proper writing skills (those who actually needed to read aloud in class), along with those who were passed over just because they seemed to sail through with little effort.

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NaNoWriMo, Here I Come

I wrote about NaNoWriMo a couple of weeks ago, and since then I’ve been fraught with mixed feelings about whether to participate. The program first came to my attention last year, late in November, at a time when it was far too late to sign up and have any hope of completing 50k words. I planned on giving it a go in 2007 but the thing crept up on me.

For the last two months I’ve been completely focused on building my freelance writing business and developing a series of blogs. These are time-consuming endeavors. I often put 12-16 hours in per day, only pausing to eat, shower, and take a few breaks to play with my animal companions or run errands. When I realized that NaNoWriMo was right around the corner, I thought there was no way I could squeeze that in too.

I’m the kind of person that takes her goals seriously. My attitude was that if I participate in NaNoWriMo, I absolutely must hit the 50k word mark. But as November 1st got nearer and nearer, I started to flex my attitude. So what if I only hit 30k? At least I will have tried. And there’s always next year. Fiction is, after all, my first love.

In the end, my desire won out over my practicality. You see, for the past year I’ve wanted to do NaNoWriMo in a bad way. I’m not sure why. What draws me to this peculiar event in which tens of thousands of writers attempt the impossible? Maybe I’m looking for a sense of community. Maybe I want to do do more than character sketches and plot outlines. Maybe I want to crack some obstacles that have been hindering me in my fiction writing. Maybe after all the blogging and freelancing, I just need to dip my toes in a little fiction, get back to my roots.

So, on a near-whim, I went ahead and signed up. Now it’s just hours away and I have no idea what I’m going to write about. Of course, I have any number of stories that I’ve already brainstormed and outlined. I’m going to go easy on myself though and not take it too seriously because the bottom line is that my work does have to come first at this time but you can bet I’ll be tracking my word count and hopefully I’ll find a way to hit that 50k and if not, then there’s always next year.

Are you signed up for NaNoWriMo? Send me a message and add me as your buddy: http://www.nanowrimo.org/user/234109

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Lay for Lie

One of the most common grammar mistakes is the practice of unwittingly using the words lay and lie incorrectly. This error is so common, it even slips past professional writers, editors, and English teachers — all the time. Maybe eventually these two words will morph but until then, it’s worthwhile to take a look at proper usage.

Lay

Dictionary.com lists 42 different definitions for the word lay. Of these, 28 are categorized as a verb used with an object, eight as verbs used without an object, and six are simply nouns. Plus, there are 15 verb phrases that use the word lay, as well as nine idioms. This is a word that can be used in a lot of different ways!

Let’s keep things simple by focusing on what differentiates lay from lie.

In short, lay is something you do to something else. You might think that sounds funny, especially considering idiom number 58 (get laid), but it’s true and of course “getting laid” is exactly what you should use to remember that you lay something.

Lie

It only has 27 definitions, so that’s a relief. Though, that’s not taking into consideration the nine additional definitions that deal with falsehoods.

Again, we’ll keep it simple. Just remember that you should use the word lie when there is no object involved.

Confused?

Every sentence has a subject and a verb. An example would be:

I write.

“I” is the subject, and “write” is the verb. Many sentences also have an object:

I write blogs.

In this example, “blogs” is the object. The object in a sentence that receives the action of the verb. The subject is taking or making that action.

Lay for Lie

The word lay should be used when there is an object receiving the action. This is a good time to introduce tenses.

• I always lay my pencil down by the phone.
• I laid the book on that chair.
• I am laying down the notebook.

Conversely, the word lie is used when there is no object involved.

• I lie down every afternoon.
• The kitten laid there, dozing.
• The dog is laying down.

Get it?

Got it? Good.

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