How to Spot a Poetry Fraud

Guest post by Jaden with introduction by Melissa Donovan

In recent weeks, there have been some heated debates in the blogosphere about writing snobs – high browed literary types that look down on folks who write for the Web, who have not been published in print, or who do not write high literature or esteemed nonfiction. James Chartrand of Men with Pen calls these folks arTEESTS.

photo credit: ooberayhay

Frauds are a slightly different breed. They pretend to be something they are not. If you poke around the blogosphere for a day or two, you’ll see countless “pro blogging” blogs where it’s obvious whoever’s running the show only just discovered blogging within the last week or so, yet they are dishing out tips on how to become a full time professional blogger.

Snobs and frauds amuse me. I know some folks are really annoyed by them, but I tend to laugh them off pretty dismissively. Clearly, they have larger issues than snobbery and fraudulence that they should be addressing. Hopefully, snobs will learn to let go of their superiority complexes and frauds will eventually become an expert in something or admit they don’t know what they’re talking about.

I know, that’s not likely to happen. So we’ll just have to let them be. Ah well, live and let live is what I always say.

So when Jaden of Screenwriting for Hollywood sent a humorous little ditty about how to spot a poetry fraud and asked if I’d like to use it as a guest post, I thought it would be a refreshing break from our serious writerly discussions and give all of us lowly web writers and hardworking poets some much-needed comic relief. Enjoy!

photo credit: zachstern

HOW TO SPOT A POETRY FRAUD
by Jaden

1. Drops the names of poets you never heard like they were pistachio shells.
2. Doesn’t have a job.
3. Says he is a poet.
4. Passes off obscure poetry as his own.
5. Never pens a single piece of original poetry himself.
6. Gets you to pay for lunch because, well, he’s a poet.
7. Sits in cafes smoking and drinking coffee while reading Mina Loy.
8. His name never appears in print, except on police reports.

Jaden blogs at Screenwriting for Hollywood. Writing fiction and nonfiction stories in all formats is Jaden’s passion.

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What the Rest of Us Can Learn from the WGA Strike

photo credit: John Edwards 2008

You’ve probably heard that the Writers Guild of America (WGA) strike against the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers (AMPTP) has come to a close, and it seems the writers have won. The strike was the result of conflict between the writers and producers failing to reach an agreement to the terms of their contract. Specifically, the writers were asking for an increase in residuals from DVD sales, and also requested that they be granted residuals on new media (internet) as well. That seems fair enough, and the writers received overwhelming support from directors, actors, politicians, and the public.

For the most part, this strike affected television writers, although some film screenwriters probably found themselves out of work for a few months. But what about the rest of us? At first, it may not seem like the WGA strike affects freelance writers, novelists, and bloggers. Yet there’s a lot we can learn from the outcome of the WGA strike.

Self Worth and Willingness to Settle for More

What allowed the writers to go on strike was the knowledge that they deserved fair compensation for their work coupled with the realization that the AMPTP was trying to give them a bum deal. The writers understood that they could get more, they were worth more, and because they understood their worth, they were willing to hold out until they got it. If you write articles for $1, then you could probably learn a lot from the attitude that the WGA presents. The lesson here is to value yourself and your work accordingly.

Community Benefits

The reason the writers were able to organize effectively against the AMPTP was because they had an established community under the guild. This enabled them to collectively agree to strike. It’s a little more difficult for those of us who are providing writing and related services without the protection of a union. In fact, it’s almost impossible for us to band together and collectively rise up against low paying clients. But what we can do is know our value, research the market in which we work, and individually refuse to accept unfair or ridiculously low wages. This is not an easy thing to do, especially when you need to put food on the table. But writers do need to be discerning in deciding rates. If someone offers you $100 to edit an entire novel, ask yourself how many hours it will take, and then could you make more than $100 doing something else with those hours?

Loyalty to the Craft

Writers also must understand that taking low wages has a negative impact on the entire writing industry. If you’re a good writer, even a fair one, your articles are worth more than $1. Period. If you write fantastic articles for such a low rate, you’re not only selling yourself short, you’re driving down income potential for others. On the other hand, if you’re writing articles for $1 a pop, it’s likely that your work is less than fair. In this case, you’re only providing better writers an easy way to compete, and obvious proof that the client is going to get what they pay for. If you can’t get at least $10 for a short article, you might want to hit the want ads.

Quality Matters

Did anyone see Late Night with Conan O’Brien during the writer’s strike? He spent several episodes doing a whole lot of nothing. Why? Because he didn’t have a script! Why didn’t he have a script? Because the writers were on strike. Those episodes were horrendous not only because the quality of his show decreased dramatically, but also because Conan himself supported the writers, but his contract obligated him to continue producing his show. One of the reasons the strike was successful was that we all saw how huge the value of the writers’ work is. Shows that moved forward without writers (such as Conan) lost quality, other shows disappeared altogether. The lesson here: leave the writing to professionals.

Value

It’s estimated that during the strike, Los Angeles lost between $500 million and $2.1 billion. Just because the writers were on strike. That shows just how much value the writers have not only for the producers and studios, but for the economy in general. This goes back to knowing your self worth, but it also involves understanding that writing adds value. If you’re writing a web article, and it’s a good one, that article adds value to the web site it gets published on. If you’ve been hired to edit a manuscript, and that manuscript gets published, you’ve added value to the book. Many writers fail to realize that the services they provide increase the worth of a final product.

Writers Are Not Expendable

Actually, everyone is expendable. A writer can be replaced, and it’s not hard to find another writer. But will the new writer have the same level of skill and produce high quality work? How big will the learning curve be for that new writer to learn the nuances of the projects? Sure, you can replace anyone but it costs employers to do this. And, while one writer may be expendable, all writers are not. Our work is an integral part of culture and the economy. As workers, we do not hold positions that can simply be done away with. Our work matters, it increases the worth of product, and we have an enormous impact on culture — through film, television, literature, music, and more. Look around you. There is writing everywhere. On the back of the cereal box, on fliers stuffed in your mailbox, in the liner notes on your CDs. The image of the starving writer is tired and needs to be replaced with an image of a valuable professional who contributes as a productive and integral member of society.

Don’t you agree?

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We Interrupt This Broadcast…

You know what I’d like? Some books. My Amazon wish list is out of control right now. That’s just one of the reasons I entered this contest, which involves a grand prize $100 Amazon gift certificate. Since voting started, I’ve held second place without pleading for your vote. I’ve tried to hint. I’ve tried to be subtle, inserting one liners into my posts… Now, the other candidates are vying to win by openly asking their readers to vote for them, and I feel compelled to do the same.

Politics are dirty.

Today, through clever campaigning, another contestant caught up and *gasp* passed me by. This puts me in third place, which of course, is nothing to cry about since even $25 can buy a couple of great writing books (I’m thinking Stephen King’s On Writing and Strunk and White’s The Elements of Style, Fourth Edition).

But with your help, I could catapult into first place and get four times as many books. Hey, I only need eight votes for that! So come on you guys, help a girl out… get over to Writer’s Round-About and vote for me, your hostess and fellow writer, Melissa Donovan.

Thanks for your support.

…and now back to our regularly scheduled programming. Here’s a look at what’s ahead:

Over the next few days, I’ll be posting some great leads on screenwriting resources, both online and off. You remember last week, I explained how to give a good critique? In a couple of days, I’ll dig into how you can receive a harsh critique graciously (that means without turning beet red and feeling like an utter failure). Plus, we’ll talk about an instrumental part of the screenwriting process — the treatment. Don’t know what that is? Stay tuned and find out later in the week.

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