How to Spot a Poetry Fraud
April 16, 2008 · Written by Co-authored
Guest post by Jaden with introduction by Melissa Donovan
In recent weeks, there have been some heated debates in the blogosphere about writing snobs – high browed literary types that look down on folks who write for the Web, who have not been published in print, or who do not write high literature or esteemed nonfiction. James Chartrand of Men with Pen calls these folks arTEESTS.
photo credit: ooberayhay
Frauds are a slightly different breed. They pretend to be something they are not. If you poke around the blogosphere for a day or two, you’ll see countless “pro blogging” blogs where it’s obvious whoever’s running the show only just discovered blogging within the last week or so, yet they are dishing out tips on how to become a full time professional blogger.
Snobs and frauds amuse me. I know some folks are really annoyed by them, but I tend to laugh them off pretty dismissively. Clearly, they have larger issues than snobbery and fraudulence that they should be addressing. Hopefully, snobs will learn to let go of their superiority complexes and frauds will eventually become an expert in something or admit they don’t know what they’re talking about.
I know, that’s not likely to happen. So we’ll just have to let them be. Ah well, live and let live is what I always say.
So when Jaden of Screenwriting for Hollywood sent a humorous little ditty about how to spot a poetry fraud and asked if I’d like to use it as a guest post, I thought it would be a refreshing break from our serious writerly discussions and give all of us lowly web writers and hardworking poets some much-needed comic relief. Enjoy!
HOW TO SPOT A POETRY FRAUD
by Jaden
- Drops the names of poets you never heard like they were pistachio shells.
- Doesn’t have a job.
- Says he is a poet.
- Passes off obscure poetry as his own.
- Never pens a single piece of original poetry himself.
- Gets you to pay for lunch because, well, he’s a poet.
- Sits in cafes smoking and drinking coffee while reading Mina Loy.
- His name never appears in print, except on police reports.
Jaden blogs at Screenwriting for Hollywood. Writing fiction and nonfiction stories in all formats is Jaden’s passion.
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Ahhh, god, the arTEETEs!!
I like the police report one, personally.
Come on James, you know you love those arTEESTS!
I missed the whole debate about writer snobs. Let’s be honest, though, we have all written snobby-sounding things. We’re writers writing about writing, for goodness sakes. Can it get any snobbier than that?
Print and/or major news sources do not always have good writers. I just read the worst written blurb on the BBC yesterday, I was shocked. Thought I should apply for a job. *wink*
A private note dropped out of someone’s purse at the grocery store can move me. Doesn’t matter who wrote it, whether pay was involved or not, or if millions or none have seen it; if it rouses my brain, I’m into it.
My current post talks about what it is to be a writer:
http://www.screenwritingforhollywood.com/screenwriting-tips/i-am-a-writer
Your picture usage here of the mannequins is amusing — love it.
(Thanks Melissa for resetting the list back to its original state.)
This is a cute list. can also be applied to the same type of people in the Painting- artist world, I’ve ran into a few.
RUN…
@Jaden, The debate was going around a few writing blogs a couple of weeks ago. Those with the “holier than thou” attitude tend to offend. I find it’s best to blow them off
Arrogance is not a trait I admire much and one I pretty much ignore unless it comes with good-hearted humor.
I had a long exhausting image search to find those two gems. One for the snob and one for the fraud. Couldn’t find a dude mannequin, which would have been more balanced (and PC) but oh well, I think they’re cool looking.
@Wendi, Yes, I can see Jaden’s list working for artists too and probably musicians, actors, even business people. Every industry has its snobs and frauds. At least all the industries I’ve worked in. It’s all about the ego…
Aaaaaah: the snob and fraud mannequins. So good!
Yes, this list is definitely alterable for any industry.
Poets get free lunch?
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on ~ Robert Frost
@Coby, I don’t know about that. I’ve never gotten a free lunch for being a poet. Then again, I haven’t been published in print
(yet). That quote is a keeper!
Until I started blogging, my name only appeared in police reports!
I liked this very much…
@Brett, I don’t believe that for a minute
@Melissa,
just ask my friends about the “Dukes of Hazzard” cars…
(ah, growing up in the country)
Brett — Laughing here. I believe it.
As a fine ex-con once told me: All great men go to jail. (Not that you went to jail, but maybe you are great man.) I could go on forever about brilliant men thrown in the slammer to get ‘em out of the way, but I don’t want to get political here. A book I have coming out, hopefully sometime this millennium, mentions how the USA has one of the highest incarceration rates of any nation in the world. Everyone in America has someone in their family or a friend who has been arrested, which is sort of messed up, if you think about it. It is pretty easy to get arrested and tossed in the can. I was 13 for my shining moment! Maybe you were just like me, having some fun? I hope.
Coby — Yeah, I am the big sucker idiot buying free lunches for poet frauds. Pizza, sandwich, what do you want? I’m buying.
Jaden,
I like that one, “all great men go to jail”… never been there, perhaps I’m great - well, my kids think so anyway
Oh yes, had lots of fun, accused many times, never convicted (luckily) - where I grew up, I think the police remembered that they, too, had done the same things as kids. I’d be interested to read your book on that.
I also remember, many years later when I was just starting my engineering career, I was talking to a senior engineer about “rules and procedures”. He said to me, “if you don’t get in trouble at least once a day, you’re not trying hard enough…”
I took that one to heart! I love being a black hat…