7 Ways to Mentally Squash Rejection Letters
Please welcome Natasa Lekic from NY Book Editors with a post that will help you handle rejection letters. Read well, because this post is packed with excellent advice.
Rejection letters are a cruel, inevitable part of every writer’s life. However, they shouldn’t derail your writing habits, which is why it’s critical to get over rejection notes as quickly as possible. To do this, you need to understand their actual value and how it compares to the act of writing.
The advice below will help you cultivate habits and a state of mind that will make rejections feel like a passing annoyance.
- Recall the rejections of writers you admire. Most writers, throughout history, have known the bitter taste of rejection. To read their stories or listen to their interviews is a way of reminding yourself that you’re not alone. They didn’t let rejection stop them from writing – and neither should you. Take rejection as an event in your life that you share with the likes of Joseph Heller, Stephen King, and JK Rowling, among countless luminaries.
- Reconsider your expectations. Your reaction to the rejection is directly correlated with your expectations. When you emailed the submission or query letter, did you fully expect to see your story in the literary magazine or did you envision meeting your new agent in New York? Consider the volume of submissions and queries that get sent to your recipient(s). Once you realize how challenging it is to get noticed, rejections won’t feel as painful.
- Play the numbers game. Submit, submit, submit. One rejection doesn’t seem like a big deal when you have many possibilities available to you. Never put all your eggs in one basket. Opinions about writing are subjective. You need to reach out to a lot of people in order to find someone who supports your work.
- Tell your negative thoughts to shut up. Negative energy leads to self-doubt and is more likely to cause negative outcomes. Athletes know this and train themselves to focus away from negativity. You should do the same. When you manage to remain optimistic, you’re more likely to stick to your writing schedule, write well, and think of new, interesting ideas.
- Fail wisely. When you receive a rejection that contains a personal response, appreciate the fact that the recipient thought highly enough of your work to take the time to respond. Approach the criticism with an open mind. Consider the fact that they might be right, and try to learn from it. What can you do differently next time?
- Turn submissions/queries into a routine. The way to be successful in the long term is to turn your submission efforts into a routine. Submitting your work or querying agents should be a tick on your weekly, monthly, or bi-monthly to-do list. It’s nothing more or less. The important work is the time you spend writing. Submissions and queries are a necessary administrative task, like doing your taxes. Turn it into a habit so you know you’re checking those boxes, and carry on with your real work.
- Reward Yourself. You deserve recognition for the work you’ve done, whatever the outcome. You did your part by completing the story or the manuscript and sending it out into the world, which was no small feat. Remember to reward yourself for the work you do once in a while, whether it’s with a glass of good red wine or an afternoon’s walk in the park. Your commitment to the craft of writing should be appreciated.
If you follow most of this advice, the negative mental effect of rejection letters will recognizably diminish. You’ll be able to maintain a state of mind that allows you to get back to the desk and continue writing.
Elizabeth Gilbert says she’ll “always be safe from the random hurricanes of outcome” as long as she never forgets to continue writing. The same goes for you. If you can keep going, you’ll be OK.
About the Author: Natasa Lekic is the founder of NY Book Editors, an affiliation of editors with extensive publishing industry experience who provide freelance editing services to authors.